Ode to my husband

My husband is a better wife than I am!

Rest assured, he is definitely 100% man! But let me tell you, he certainly makes a better housewife than I do!

I HAD to blog about this, the most recent installment in my mental catalog, "Reasons Why I Married the Best Man Ever".

Aside from the fact that he does housework (without prompting) - dishes, laundry, etc., this one takes the cake.

The other day, on one of my few days off, Dono called in sick to work. I thought this would be a great opportunity for us to play! And after he did some resting and general getting-bettering (?!), we had a chance to sit down together and watch some TV. Well, my poor husband was too sick to care what was on the tube - so he indulged me when I asked him if he minded if we watched the only soap I've ever watched - Days of Our Lives.

It was noon - this meant the show we were about to watch was a rerun of yesterday's 3:30pm show. Well, the show began with sweet Mimi being coerced by her mother Bonnie and fellow vixen Kate to guilt Belle (Kate's daughter-in-law) into NOT telling Mimi's future husband - Shawn (Belle's first love) - that she's still in love with him. Well, after THAT introduction, the editors cut to a scene of Carrie lying in a hospital bed, with Lucas and Austin on either side (both boys are step-brother to Phillip - Kate's son and Belle's husband, just fyi!), and she was going to tell the men which of the two she's decided to spend the rest of her life with. Both men were sweaty and anxious, and Carrie, being a soapstar, has the endearing, inherent quality of dragging scenes out to last an entire show.

Well! Donovan was GLUED to the tv! "Who is Carrie going to pick? I hope she picks Lucas, he seems like a nice guy!" ..."Oh man, Belle is SO going to tell Shawn at the wedding! That's going to be disasterous!"

So by the end of the show, Donovan told me he wanted to call in sick the next day just so he could stay home and watch - this was when I informed him that, "Hey, guess what, a new one is on at 3:30 today!"

I had NO IDEA the monster (in an endearling manner - more of a sweet, cuddly creature!) I've created! Donovan kept talking about the first show long after it was over, and was sitting in front of the tv waiting for the next one a half hour early!

3:30 rolls around - and there we are, a picture of what we were a mere 3 hours prior, cuddled on the couch and watching these dramatic stories unfold before our eyes.....when Dono pronounces, "We need bonbons to eat while watching this!"

"Yeah," I said, "but there's no time to get any. Do we have anything in the house we can substitute?"

"No....I'm gonna go to the store!", Dono exclaimed!

"NOO, you'll miss something!"

"Kitty, we NEED chocolate to eat to watch this!"

So sure enough, by the time the next commercial break rolled around, Dono bolted out the door and got in my car and sped to the 7-11! He came back, after having missed really nothing spectacular, with a bag of Fudgee-o cookies!

Well, we devoured those cookies as quickly as we devoured the storylines on the show, sinking our teeth into the fudgee-o goodness as we bit into the delicious drama of Sammy blackmailing Lexi into persuading Carrie into choosing one guy over the other.

Mmmmm, deeeeee-licious!

I've married the best man EVER!

Stuffed animals stuffed in places they shouldn't be!

So it's been a while since I blogged last - don't get me wrong, many blog-worthy things have happened since my last posting. If I wasn't so busy with work, I could've blogged a lot sooner - perhaps I could've blogged about how Steven Tyler almost ran me and my sister (and my niece) off the road; I could've blogged about how angry it's making me that Napoleon Dynamite is whoring himself and his nerd image to any movie at a whim.

But I won't.

Instead, I've decided to blog about something that makes me raving mad.

Not in a "I'm going to run you off the road like Steven Tyler almost did to me" way.

But still pretty burnt up.

This is something that we've all seen, something that I don't think one person can satisfactorily justify, or fully explain.

This is the phenomenon of people lining the interior along the rear window of their car with stuffed animals.

Why?

Why do people do this?

It's truly an enigma.

You know what I'm talking about... granny cars, chachi cars, cars driven by "Daddy's Little Princess", with big stuffed bears, kittens, or dogs, perched upon the ledge, staring down the unfortunate drivers who are behind them at red lights.

Why?

The only thing I can think of as to why someone would do this is because the driver has a love for stuffed animals. That's fine - but keep it at home, or in the front seat! If you love stuffed animals THAT MUCH (and you're old enough to drive?), putting them on the back ledge, crammed against the rear window seems pointless - how are you going to retrieve them with ease and give them a little snuggle as you drive? You can't! So why not put them in the front seat so they can travel beside you, and you can snuggle with them as often as you like?

Why not?

Because that's WEIRD, isn't it?

Well so is shoving Cuddles the Bear in the back window of your car, positioned only to stare down the drivers behind you!

I hate stuffed animals stuffed in the rear of cars. Stuffed animals shouldn't be stuffed there. That's my rant for today.



disclaimer: the above rant does not include those drivers with babies in a rear-facing car seat.

No Deal or No Deal!

I don't watch a lot of tv. In fact, my favourite shows (24, Friends, Degrassi Jr High), we have on DVD, so we just watch them whenever we feel like it. Then, there are the times Dono and I will watch whatever's on A&E: Dog the Bounty Hunter, Criss Angel: Mindfreak, American Justice, City Confidential.

But there was one show that Dono and I managed to catch the tail end of last week - a new, addictive game show hosted by the Boston Pizza potentate himself, Mr. Howie Mandel.

The game: Deal or No Deal.

Based on a series that debuted in Holland in 2002 and became an international hit, Deal or No Deal is about luck and playing the odds.

Contestants are faced with 26 briefcases held by 26 models, each case with a hidden value ranging from a penny to the top prize that will escalate by week’s end to $3 million.

As the game progresses and cases are eliminated, a contestant weighs the chance of snaring a big prize against lesser but still tempting offers made by the show’s “bank,” represented by an anonymous, silhouetted figure.

(I believe the figure to be the once-reclusive alien life form, Alf, who is trying to make a comeback in the new millennium with baby steps, first as a silhouetted-banker man, then, I'm guessing, as the love interest of an amphetamine-addicted Bea Arthur plagued by hallucinations in a Ludacris rap video. Or better yet, in Patrick Swayze's rap video, once he breaks on to the scene. Hey, if Howie Mandel can make a comeback, why not Alf???)

But that's beside the point.

Donovan and I are hooked on this game show.

For the past few days, Dono had been checking our local listings to find out when the next time this gem would air. And sure enough, last night was said time.

I was feeling burnt out from working 94 hours a week, but boy oh boy, I just couldn't wait to snuggle underneath my electrode blanket (!) in the darkness of our newly-renovated basement by the light of the glowing TV and indulge in my new obsession. Even Dono, though he had pages to colour, was gearing up to get as much done as he could before 7pm, so that he could join me on the couch for this exciting game of greed!

The clock struck 7. Entertainment Tonight was just wrapping up, the credits rolling on the screen. Then...Howie!

"IT'S ON!" I screamed.

Oooh, this was gonna be GOOD! There was Howie, and he just called his first contestant. The game was underway! The player chose his case, the model placed it beside him. Then he started to call out numbers of cases, and the first 2 of the game were opened: $1, $0.01...oh MAN, this is how the game is PLAYED!

And that's when it happened.

KARE News was interrupting Deal or No Deal for a Special Report.

("Better be an earthquake or something pretty big," I thought to myself. "Why else would they interrupt this show?")

"Kirby Puckett has died," the reporter said.

Ok - gee, that's too bad...thanks for the report, now let's get back to the show!

But no, the reporter carried on for 23 minutes.

I was mad.

23 MINUTES!!!!

Now, this may sound pretty insensitive of me, but you have to understand this: to me, a Special Report - one that's interrupting a fantasmically-divine game show such as Deal or No Deal - should, in my eyes, take a few minutes to report. No matter WHAT programming they're interrupting - unless it's something that is going to affect me and my family in the next few moments (ie. tornado, terrorist attack, M&M recall). They should state the facts, and wrap it up by saying, "More on this during your 10 o'clock news tonight." They should NOT take up 23 minutes of my Deal or No Deal time to repeat the same facts over and over and over and OVER again. They're just gonna go through it all again during their news at night programs anyways!

I'm sorry that someone died, it sure is a sad thing. But don't occupy so much time away from a program that isn't on a regular schedule - and not on any other freakin' channel! - to tell me something that really doesn't affect me, and that I can (and will) hear about later!

Because I was snuggled on the couch under my electrode blanket (!) to see (no) Deal or No Deal, I ended up watching Walk the Line again.

Fair trade-off.

And just when I was getting to be ok with seeing Howie Mandel again. Maybe it's a sign... a sign transmitted over the satellites in our earth's atmosphere, a transmitted signal from alien life forms who are fighting Alf's return to the boob tube because he should be staying a recluse.

Like Bea Arthur.

I digress.

Currently playing: Prince - Purple Rain

And the Oscar DOESN'T go to....

Can I say something?....Of course I can, this is MY GD blog! Well, ok, so let me say this:

Last night's spectacle, the Academy Awards, has left me with a bittersweet taste in my mouth.

I had never intended on even remotely pretending to care about whom Oscar was going home with last night, but I found myself sitting on the edge of the couch, rooting for one particular film and all its participants.

Now I can admit that I was biased in my support - although I haven't yet seen any of the other big nominated movies (Capote, Crash, Brokeback Mountain, and Good Night, and Good Luck), I still felt with great certainty that the film I saw was just THAT GOOD that it would take home all the statuettes for each of the 5 categories it was nominated. (Don't even get me started on the fact that this wasn't even given a nod for Best Picture.)

When Donovan and I agreed to go see Walk the Line in theatres, we had no idea what it was we were about to experience. I was not a fan of Johnny Cash - but I did give him props for doing a duet with Bono (and who the heck was June Carter?). And I wasn't a fan of Reese Witherspoon, so already this film had some pre-viewing strikes against it. But once the movie began, we were swept away - no, captivated - by the story's powerful plot created by characters acting in unimaginably perfect and seamless portrayals.

I was indifferent in my feelings towards Joaquin Phoenix, after seeing Ladder 49 (which I call "Shitty Dad"), but I was so enraptured by his spellbinding performance as Johnny Cash, and found myself surprisingly impressed with Reese Witherspoon's portrayal of June Carter, and we left the theatre in awe of this exquisite masterpiece, wanting more!

(I think we were even THAAAAAAAAAAAT close to going back into the movie theatre and seeing it for a second time!)

Well, my loving husband purchased this divine piece of movietry (another new word of mine) not even a week ago, and we've already both watched it twice more since.

So it was no wonder that last night, I was hanging on to the hope of seeing my new favourite buddies walking up onstage to accept the Oscar.

Only my hopes were hanging off the edge of a slippery slope, and they plummeted towards the earth, shattering into tiny fragments of dirty old hope-bits that were trampled on by stampeding buffalo and washed away by acidic rain.

Joaquin was up against Philip Seymour Hoffman, for his role in Capote, and Heath Ledger's gay cowboy character in Brokeback Mountain. Even though I had a sinking feeling that Joaquin's name wouldn't be called, I still had a knot in my stomach.


As they were announcing the nominees for this category, and sticking the camera in the actors' faces, Joaquin mouthed "I love you River" to his long-deceased actor-brother (who of course died of a drug overdose some years back).

Or maybe he was just chewing on a big wad of gum.

No, no, I'm pretty sure I saw what I saw.

And then Hoffman's name was announced as the Oscar winner. Which makes me feel good, knowing that Hoffman's movie, shot in Winnipeg, puts us on the map again (shouts out to Peg City), but my heart just sank to see Joaquin's graceful rejection face.

But two categories later, like a Phoenix rising from the ashes of my shattered hope (like that Phoenix-reference?!), the Best Actress category was up. And I don't even care to know who the others were, or what movies they were in - all I needed to hear was Reese's name being called to accept the honour - and there it was!

Reese thanked costar Joaquin Phoenix who "put his heart and soul into the performance" playing Johnny Cash and also thanked "my wonderful husband (Ryan Phillippe) and two children – who should be going to bed."

Bittersweet.

But for those Walk the Line-heads like me, we can take solace in this review, knowing that we are not alone in thinking JP rocked the hizzouse in this flick: if somehow Hoffman and Ledger split the vote, the beneficiary would most definitely be Joaquin Phoenix for his captivating portrayal of Johnny Cash in Walk the Line. Never underestimate the Man in Black, who picked up the Golden Globe for Comedy/Musical actor -- also, his movie's the only one in this category to have broken $100 million, meaning it's most likely more people have seen it more than any other performance.

I don't have to be at work for another 4 hours today....plenty of time to watch Walk the Line again.


Currently playing: Get Rhythm - Joaquin Phoenix as Johnny Cash