Spam, Spam, Spam

I've never heard the name "Trina Miner" before. So to see her name in my inbox, and having her address me as her friend even (no stranger has emailed me and called me their friend since this), had me curious.

Subject heading: My friend, you are in trouble

So my friend Trina writes:

We offer INSTANT DOWNLOAD! You will no need to wait 2-3 week for CD delivery - you can download any program and PC games at once you have purchased it! Most of program packages are within 50-150 MBs and even if you have slow modem connection you'll be able to download for an ONE day.

First of all - SWEET JEEBUS, I had NO IDEA how much trouble I was in! If I had only known sooner - thanks, Trina!

Now I'm not going to get into the importance of staying in school, although I KNOW the author of this email - my FRIEND - was just dying for some proper education. But I suppose where she's from, back in the Ukraine, her family was just too poor to send Trina to school. So Trina left the small village of Bucksaminchukinski (and changed her name from her Slavic-rooted Olga Vladimotzchinski) to pursue a life in the realm of the least educated - no, not with monkeys at the Zoo (in Bucksaminchukinski, the locals were so poor that they eventually ate all the animals in their zoo, so the only mammals they had to display behind bars were uncles perpetually drunk on the Moonshine and infectious rodents) - no, Trina went to pursue a life in the Spam biz, sending emails to her friends around the world and offering INSTANT DOWNLOAD! Of course, with the instant cash Trina makes ("You will no need to wait 2-3 week for CD delivery" = instant bucks), she sends a cut of her pay back home to help support her struggling village.

Nice work, Trina. I'll take 48. (Us Ukies have to stick together!)


Currently playing: Guns 'n Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine